Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
