I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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