Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I want a musical about memes.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
