Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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