Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
