i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
