I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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