The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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