I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
