OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
