he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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