woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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