i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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