The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize