Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
