So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize