Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize