i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
