Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
