Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
