honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
