God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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