they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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