I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
