If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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