So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
