i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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