they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize