Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
