I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Randomize
