Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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