Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
