whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
