I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
