I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
