Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Randomize