Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
