4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
