Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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