Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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