Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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