Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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