But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
