that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
