I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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