so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Rumble strips road head = magical
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize