A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
