So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
