I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
