I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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