i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
