he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
