I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
