Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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