...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize