Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
