Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
