apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
