Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
