have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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