Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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